Summer's already too short.

I thought it would last a little longer.

Dianne, Erick, and Amy have just left for college. It feels as if they left as fast as they came in. Don't get me wrong, there's still alot of people here, it just ... won't be the same.

Thursday at the park was great. Of course, it was more than just great, but I'm just going to write great. I wish I could record time in my brain and just not forget things. I could write them, but as most people who know me know, my anxiety gets in the way. It's hard for me to write things because I get anxious about writing them. It gets hard. I feel overwhelmed; like there's not enough time, or there's too much to write, or what I write, in retrospect, won't be able to really capture what I want to say, and if I were to reread it sometime in the future ... I wouldn't be reading the right thing. If that makes any sense.

I feel as if I'm making myself seem like a nervous wreck on the verge of a breakdown. Ah well.

So Thursday. Who was there .... Chris, Amy, Dianne, Erick, Melanie, Abraham, Wen-hui, Jeans, David, Juan, Gina, Carolina, Karina, Maria. Going to miss hanging out with everyone this summer, which is horrible, because it's barely begun. Well, at least it was alot of fun. Red Lobster played a big part. As we all know, you're not supposed to eat food that you find lying around. Much less if they were on a rock in the ocean. But the biscuits were fresh. And ... ahem ... it was Amy's idea...and ahem ... Mel had (2).

Not dead yet, so I don't think they were poisoned.

Days like that make me very happy to live here in Miami. It really is beautiful. Even the heat can be beautiful. The city is beautiful; the ocean. I wish we had more parks though, larger ones.

Sunset on the grass is something really ... special to me. Even when everyone is all tired and sweaty. Or is that especially? We didn't get to really watch the sunset, but it was that time of day just before, when everything is very yellow and hazy, although in my memory I'm probably exaggerating that aspect. The smell of grass. It's just so nostalgic. It has to be my favorite time of day, everything seems at such a standstill, I guess because it's such a short period of time. There are so many songs I could use to describe it, I'll have to look for a good one. I always associate things or times or places or memories with songs, and colors, I remember better that way. I will try to post a song or picture or something that fits with the day.

My biggest, and possibly most meaningful, regret thus far, at least in high school, aside from a different, much more painful, lifelong regret, would have to be not knowing most of these people longer. I get sad sometimes, seeing them in pictures from middle school, four, five, six, seven years ago, and so many of them are together in those pictures, and it hits me how little I've known them. I already miss them. For what seems the first time in a very long time, I feel so integrated into a group of people, so accepted, and not because I'm a social outcast or anything; I'm used to having alot of friends, but these guys really feel close. I feel so comfortable with all of them, and I can hang out with pretty much any of them and have a great time. It makes me feel as if I was for some reason set back a year. Of course I wouldn't have it any other way though, I'm too content and lucky with the direction my life has taken to wish it were different. I just wish I had gotten to know them earlier. I feel as if I have to start over now, a little.